10/21/2013 Vienna
How quickly time passes. To think I'll
be back on a plane to Taiwan in a few short hours. Life is too short
for me to experience all that I wish to, but it'll have to be enough.
I'll make do.
This morning, we visited the Schonbrunn
Palace, a giant cream yellow edifice with two bronze eagles out front
flanking the gate. A tour through the palace informed us a bit about
the history of the Hapsburg dynasty, though it mostly focused on
Maria Theresa and Sisi. Today was also the first time I've seen
wooden tiles(basically, tiles made of wood set just as regular tile
is, with grout and mortar), apparently to keep down the sound of
horsed carriages traveling upon them. After Schonbrunn, we hopped
over to the Hundretwasserhaus, apparently designed by a man who
abhorred straight lines. I was equally abhorred by his resulting
structures, and believe that said structures are a danger to
visitors.
Lunch was at the same dance Chinese
restaurant where we had dinner the previous night. After lunch, we
were lead to the shopping district surrounding, yes another
cathedral, St. Stephen's, and left to our own devices. I wandered
around for a bit, visited the cathedral, and decided that while the
exterior of this cathedral was charmingly Gothic, the interior was
rather plan compared to previous cathedrals I've visited, especially
for a cathedral in a city the size of Vienna.
Dinner was a fried pork chop in what
purported to be a Mexican joint. Bout the only thing actually Mexican
about it was the tequila.
I figured to myself, can't come to
Vienna without listening to Mozart concert, right? Wrong. 50€
lead me to an old concert hall after dinner. The décor was certainly
beautiful and antique, and the orchestra was certainly dressed to
match, in powdered wigs and embroidered coats, but the seats...were a
travesty. I don't mean the position of seats, that was fine. No, the
seats themselves were bent wooden constructions made with the
ergonomic know how of Dali and the spacing of that quack
Hundretwasser. There was no possible comfortable position in the
damned things, and even when seated properly, my knees were pressed
heavily into the wooden back of the seat in front.(I wouldn't sit a
goddamn masochist sub in it, it was so bad) I barely heard a note
through the two hour long concert through my discomfort.
Toward the end of the concert, another member of our party, a panicky woman, rushed up
to us after having received a message on her phone saying our hotel
had caught fire. This resulted in our leaving in a hurry, and while I
was thankful to leave my seat, I didn't see a reason to rush. Either
the fire was burning down our hotel, and emergency services was
taking care of it, or someone set off a smoke alarm and it wasn't a
big deal. Either way, what the hell were we going to do about it? But
Panicky Woman was Panicky, so we rushed back to see the firetrucks no
longer there, and that everything was fine. And thus I ended my first
trip to Europe, on a very anticlimactic note.
10/20/2013 Vienna
As far as the tour goes, today was
probably the most boring. We left Salzburg in the morning, driving to
the nearby lakeside town of St. Wolfgang. It's a small town with a
church as it's centerpiece, though most come for the stunning
lakeside views. The lake is pretty clear, leading to me to believe
that it likely fills from snowmelt. As is my custom, I walked through
various parts of the town, leaving the tourist districts behind. The
small size of the town leads me to believe that I actually walked
through the entire town, residential streets and all. As it was
Sunday, the church bells were tolling for Mass, and shops were most
definitely not open(which was a pity, I did see some bronze
statuettes through a shop window that I was interested in).
After leaving St. Wolfgang, we
immediately headed off to another lakeside town, Hallstadt, situated
by a different lake. Unlike St. Wolfgang, which is built more
traditionally, on flat land, Hallstadt is built on a steep slope,
creating terraced layers of structures on the hillside. We had backed
trout for lunch(probably because there was no Chinese food to be
found, thank the gods.), followed by my normal wandering. If I were
to differentiate the two towns, besides the lay of the land and the
consequential city planning differences, I would say that St.
Wolfgang has gondola lifts up a nearby mountain, and Hallstadt is
built on the side of a mountain.
After these two pleasant lakeside
destinations, we drove some 4 hours and 300km to eat Chinese food,
visit a park with creepy statue of Strauss, followed by checking
into our hotel for the next two days, where I promptly dropped off my
bags and headed out on my own to the real highlight of the day.
A 5min cab ride from mine hotel lies
the Goldentime FKK Sauna Club(FKK stands for free body culture or
something). 90€ gets you a towel, a
bathrobe, and a key to a locker and a safebox in the lobby. You go
in, put your valuables and money in the safebox, and have yourself a
shower in the locker room before donning your bathrobe and wandering
into the club proper. The club facilities include saunas, swimming
pool and whirlpool, a buffet, more showers, a bar, and lots and lots
of lounging chairs and sofas. Said facilities tend to be populated by
young, nubile, and very under dressed girls. I only say under dressed
rather than stark naked as each of them have at least a pair of high
heels strapped to delicate ankles, if nothing else.
Let me tell you, there wasn't a single
girl in there I would kick out of bed. Some were certainly more
beautiful than others, but I would not say that any one of them was
ugly. European girls already tend to be more thin than girls in the
States, and this is especially true among sex workers. English
language skills were more or less universal, and while many would not
be able to carry on a decent conversation, their language skills are
able enough for your needs. Prices are set at 60€
for 30mins per girl, non-basic “special services” to be and
additional, negotiable cost. Most girls are of Eastern European
origin, and the majority of those tend to be from Romania, though
there is a sizable Ukrainian contingent, and several Bulgarians. I
also spoke with an Italian, so I expect most of Europe to be
represented in that room.
Odd thing I noted: There is a single
stripper pole in the lounge, and for the three hours I was there, not
a single girl danced on it.
Had my first threesome experience with
a petite blonde and a thicker(relative to the blonde, so therefore
still thin) brunette, with hard to remember stage names. Meh. While
threesomes are off my bucket list, I will say that next time I have a
threesome, I will make sure it is with two long term partners, and
all participants will be more familiar with each others' wants and
put more effort into the act. Overall experience was positive, though
there was much to be desired, which was a statement that would apply
to the rest of the night. As a man, I heartily approve of such an
institution, and dearly wish someone would do the same thing in the
States. Personally, I feel like only some of my needs were being met,
as it lacks the casual intimacy and affection I'm used to with those
I am intimate with. Also, with long term partners, I would expect
much more familiarity and acceptance of my particular needs and
wants, eg. I like it when my girls cuddle up to me after I beat them,
neither of which is available without a large increase in price at
the club. It can therefore be said that for me personally, quality of
sex is an issue here.
Do not let all the above turn you off
to such an institution, however, as the club does have several things
going for it. It is likely both cheaper and less time consuming than
an actual girlfriend, and said girlfriend is likely never going to
have skin as soft nor be as physically attractive as one of these
girls. Also, to be certain, while quality of sex is an issue, for
some, variety is a quality of it's own. While all these things are
certainly not able to overcome it's faults, they are enough that I
could honestly be enticed to go again if it were extremely convenient
for me to do so.
10/19/2013 Salzburg Wals
I spent the day wandering around the
city of Salzburg today. Apparently, the town was named after the salt
mines in the hills nearby, which accounted for the great wealth of
the city. In fact, the city was so wealthy, that when the city burnt
down, they built it right back up even better than before. Said
wealth also explains the huge fortification on the hill the city
surrounds, as well as the cathedral in the city center.
As Salzburg is the first Austrian town
I've spend any amount of time in, I did a little reading about
Austria in general, then tried to look up something to do at night,
when I discovered something amazing. Prostitution is legal and
regulated in Austria like it is in Germany. (I should have realized
this before, since they're basically one country. No, I didn't
immediately set off to for a brothel, though I admit that the idea
was tempting. Actually, the more I read the more curious I became.
Apparently, some brothels in Austria are actually controlled by the
police, ostensibly to prevent human trafficking. I can't help but
draw comparisons to our own US government, which, when attempting to
run a brothel and casino in Nevada, ran both into bankruptcy. How on
earth does someone run a casino into bankruptcy when people go to
lose money there? (Then again, how did I expect a bureaucracy that
spends twice as much as it takes in to be able to run any kind of
functioning business.) But enough about brothels and government.
Salzburg architecture is more simple
that that of Prague and the cities we previously visited, with the
notable exception of the Cathedral. The Cathedral was actually
rebuilt several times, ost recently after having its dome bombed in
WWII. I actually rather dislike this particular cathedral.
Externally, it's quite nice and cathedral-y, but inside, it's
decorated with white a multitude of white plaster figures on it's
walls an ceilings in a Baroque style that gave me a heebee jeebies.
The rest of the castle town is a high class shopping district, mostly
filled with shops selling Mozartkugel. Did I mention that Mozart is
big in Salzburg? Because hes's goddamn everywhere. Mozart bridges,
Mozart buildings, Mozart candy, Mozart streets, and Mozart parks.
Everywhere.
I spent an hour sitting along the banks
of the Salzach river at sunset. Pretty calm end to the day.
On an unrelated note, about something
I'm not really entitled to complain about, since I didn't spend a
dime on this tour, but going out with a Taiwanese tour group is
particularly painful in the dining aspect, since they always want to
eat Chinese food. We eat Chinese food whenever possible, in fact we
ate at a particular Chinese place twice, because it was the only
restaurant in town. Goddamn annoying.
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